It's been a busy month, but all with good stuff. Darin's surgery went off without a hitch. There were several days at home that he suffered from leg pain and since he didn't like taking the narcotic medication it was challenging. His skin is sensitive and so he experienced on and off rashes for the duration of his hospital stay, topping it with an itchy hive like reaction to an antibiotic on the day of discharge. I was just glad to be discharged home so soon from the hospital. He still wears his cast, but that, along with his staples, will be removed in about 5 days. His knee has regained some mobility. It's still rough for him to not be able to walk. He's mobile with a variety of devices - walkers, crutches or wheelchairs (we have 2 for some reason!). Mostly, because it has been so long since he has walked. I can only imagine what not walking might feel like and yet I don't want to imagine it at all.
Derek is now home and no longer working. That has been the biggest stress relief of all. I do believe that most of my stressors in our lifestyle are gone now that he's home. I no longer need to stress over working full time and caring for the pets (we have 3 cats, a dog and a tortoise) & house by myself for a week at a time. In my opinion, I think our lives have improved tremendously in many ways since he's been home. He's worked 1 week away in the past 4-5 and that has made all the difference. I know that he gave up a lot. He gave up a huge identifying piece of himself and he did it for us. Financially, it never made a huge difference in our lives because we had to replace his absence with in home childcare. I could never be home by the time most childcare institutions closed. We also withdrew Emma from doggy daycare and now we walk her to the bus stop daily as well as take her on our weekend trips.
The past 2 weeks my running mileage has reduced somewhat because of life. This past week I only ran 10 miles, although it's possible I might be able to squeeze in another 5 today and call it an even 15. I rowed the kayak/canoe for 2 hours on Sunday, so I had sore arms the first part of the week and I was also exhausted. Last week I ran 15 miles. The 2 weeks before I was at 0 miles per week with a horrible adenovirus. Now, however, I'm running faster and I don't have injury when I run. When I run faster, I feel my abs getting tired. I don't really have abs, but I do have flabs. I've noticed my abs tiring at the end of my run the past 2 weeks with my faster runs. A light bulb has gone off - maybe I will get more abdominal tone with running faster! I've never had a non-flabby set of abs. I never thought of running as a way to get a stronger core.
Last night I came home from work and walked over to the neighbor's house. We are making friends with our neighbors. I like all the neighbors we've met, a stark difference from where we lived last year. Last year, the neighbors liked us more than I liked them. Jenna received her first job - watering outdoor plants for the neighbor 2 doors down. He called on us because he is the son in law of the people who lived in our house. Then, the neighbor on the other side of him saw Jenna watering the plants and asked if she would feed their outdoor cat and get their mail when they leave, too LOL The neighbors across the street have been bugging us about coming over on a Friday night to get to know each other and so that finally came to fruition last night. The dad was born & raised in Pakistan but came to America for education. That man should be a comedian because he is so hilarious. The mom is a teacher here in our school districts and they have 2 boys. They are a funny, casual family. We had a good time and left for home late at 10pm.
While managing my booked schedule on Friday afternoon in the office, a representative from admin comes down and waits for me. I was running an outpatient NST triage and evaluation for the afternoon, having been booked with back to back NSTs for high risk patients, along with their prenatal visits in about 3 rooms. It gets overwhelming for my MA sometimes, who I adore, but for me it's just more fun. The acuity is never high. After all, I'm in an office. Not a good sign to see admin waiting on the sidelines (historically, anyways), however. She tells me that she was told to privilege me for the hospital and that she had done most of my paperwork. I have a big packet of information, but I just needed to sign in a few places, get a picture taken and then give it back to her. I peeked into the packet and. Yes. It's to receive medical staff privileges at the hospital.
I guess it had been decided at some point that I will be catching babies.
And, somebody else filled in my paperwork. Even my references, from my application to my current employer, were all changed over to the physicians I work for now, some of who sit on the same board at the hospital for privileging.
It seemed to happen as mysteriously as the chief OB finding me on a random Friday a few months ago to ask if I would be willing, for them, to consider returning to deliveries. The group is a little overwhelmed and patients are asking.
They haven't had a delivering midwife on staff with them before. If I had to make an educated guess, I would say that some of the physicians are nervous about it, but I do know that they all stand joint in their decision making. I know this and I feel safe. I hope I can help them.
My midwife certification is up for renewal at the end of this year. I have a few modules left and I'll be ready to go. What a variety of experiences I have had since my transition from L&D RN to now. I've experienced a variety of practice types, from small OB/GYN owned & high medicalized, home birth apprenticeship, a midwife run FQHC practice that performed waterbirth and care to refugees, centering prenatal care model, opening an independent hospital based practice in a highly institutionalized environment and also jump starting a brand new centering program. All the while, providing care to women & newborns no matter what culture or location. This practice has afforded me the exposure to high volume, high risk patients and to really fine tune my gynecological office procedures (IUDs, EMBs, skin biopsies). The high volume has given me exposure to more statistically unlikely results such as cancer. I have learned a lot more about HPV related cancers, endometrial cancers and breast cancers simply from exposure. I continue to learn, as now I have more exposure to high risk prenatal patients, with adequate OB/GYN supervision & management.
I have spent the past few months becoming aware of what job opportunities are coming open and closing around me, thinking about doctorate level preparation, leaving nursing altogether, pursuing my real estate license on evenings & weekends, evaluating other specialties of advanced practice such as FNP or ANP (but without the critical care background which I believe puts me at a severe disadvantage safety wise). All the while, my certifications are needing renewal within the next 6 mos and my inpatient certifications (ACLS, NRP) have expired over all of this. These are easy to renew. I've been certified with those for almost 20 yrs and it's just a class or two.
I am young, but I do believe I'm feeling somewhat older. I have a little less fire & zest. I didn't always accept some of my experiences with gratitude. They have been hard earned, but they were offered to me and I accepted them. The women & children I've served have always been my greatest reward in and of themselves. They enrich my life. They continue to seek my care. I routinely get asked to deliver and I have been thanked for being there for them t/o their prenatal care. It's a hard profession to walk away from, because it's more than a career. It's a calling.
And, they are calling.